The start of a new school year always brings mixed emotions: excitement, nerves, and sometimes anxiety.
As parents, you’ll notice changes at home. Sleep gets disrupted. Learners become more irritable. There might be tears over uniform changes. In school, teachers see their own version of this: learners struggling with concentration, testing boundaries, or withdrawing.
For some learners, particularly those with social, emotional, and mental health needs, this anxiety can quickly escalate into school refusal – where it becomes so overwhelming that attending school just feels impossible.
Managing the transition back to the classroom shouldn’t fall on one person’s shoulders alone.
Working together is key.
When parents and schools share information, keep communication open, and set consistent expectations, learners will feel safe and supported in both places. That sense of partnership is what helps them settle back into routine.
It’s normal to see shifts in behaviour when learners return to school. The first day or two might go smoothly, worries forgotten by excitement and seeing friends again. But difficulties often appear a week or so in.
Who sits with whom, which friendship groups have shifted over summer, and navigating playground hierarchies; it’s exhausting work for young minds already adjusting to academic demands.
Recognising that this is part of the transition, not a sign of failure, makes it easier for parents and teachers to respond calmly and consistently. For some learners, settling in might take several weeks or even a full term, and that’s okay too.
"Day one will be great. And day two will be fine. It's the week or so after they come back… that's when it starts to get hard. Fatigue, routine, social interactions - it's not just the first couple of days you need to manage."
Consistency between home and school routines helps learners feel secure during transition.
"You need to be on the school routine at least two or three days before you go back… it makes it as easy as possible for you."
One conversation before term starts can prevent weeks of confusion later.
"One small conversation you have before the start can save you hours later in the year. If we know someone's had a tough summer, we can be ready for it."
Learners are quick to spot when the messages they hear at home and school don’t match. If schools tell parents it will be a supportive return, but learners experience stricter rules and harsher language, trust breaks down.
When parents and schools echo the same message – “We’re glad you’re back, we want you to succeed” – it reassures learners they’re on steady ground. This alignment needs to happen in both directions: schools following through on promises and parents reinforcing school expectations at home.
"Your actions and your words have to align… Parents and kids talk. If what you told parents doesn't match what happens in class, trust goes straight away."
Expect some bumps in the road, and respond with patience rather than panic.
This partnership approach means neither side feels they’re managing difficult behaviour alone.
"It's not about the one big step — it's about the hundred little interactions that build trust."
Ownership reduces anxiety, and both home and school can offer age-appropriate choices.
"Where there has been a change, I'm trying to give them ownership. I'll ask, how do these tables work for you? You're the ones in the class. That bit of control makes a big difference."
Regular communication helps catch small issues before they become big problems.
Most learners settle within a few weeks, but some need extra help. Consider reaching out to school counsellors, SEN coordinators, or your GP if you notice:
Remember, asking for help isn’t failure; the support is there for you to use.
Learners succeed when parents and schools work in partnership. No one expects the return to school to be seamless, and no school (or parent) will get everything right the first time!
The goal isn’t perfection; it’s connection. When communication flows freely, expectations align, and learners feel heard in both places, the transition becomes manageable. Some learners will bounce back quickly; others need more time and support. Both responses are normal.
What makes the difference is consistency in the message learners receive: “We’re here for you, we believe in you, and we’re working together to help you succeed.”
Back-to-school is a journey, not just a day. Walking it together will make all the difference!
